First impressions are for suckers

Before we begin, I can now address one reason I'm not a famous author and getting paid to write like Jenny Lawson (check out my last post, I think). Because I'm less regular than someone who only eats wheels of cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I suppose if I want to be some iteration of a semi-famous blogger, I better start writing in the goddamn thing. Fuck me.

A while ago, I had a thought that I think deserves to be repeated and explored. First impressions, specifically those provided by first dates. In this day and age, even moreso because so few people actually know each other when they first meet - everyone is into online dating. Take a small journey with me.

I want you to envision one of your longest relationships. Whatever that is for you. To some it might just be a few months, to others it might be years. Better yet, remember one of your most serious relationships. When you're in a serious, potentially long term, relationship all your freak flags fly - in all senses of the word. These are likely people that have seen you dressed to the nines (whatever the fuck that means) and people that have seen you completely bare-ass naked. They'll see/hear you crack jokes that fall completely flat and they'll be there for many of your best zingers. The point is, these relationships see the good, they see the bad, they see 'em both and there you have... a long term commitment. Not the facts of life.


So let's take it a step further. Let's start out on the wrong foot and warn everyone just what kind of cesspool they may be stepping into. Don't put your best foot forward, because nobody is on their best game all the time - especially once that guard comes down. You look forward to that point in time when you can just be you so start out that way!

Qhat does that mean, Adam? What are you driving at? For my dudes; this means showing up in your gym clothes, maybe even directly after a workout sweat as hell. Don't style your hair, don't put on deodorant, no cologne... all that jazz. For ladies, show up in yoga pants, pajama bottoms, throw on an oversized sweatshirt, leave your hair undid or at most a pony tail/legitimately messy bun, unbrushed teeth, no perfume, whatever.

I think of it like this, if we require truth in advertising, that damn well better apply to the dating world as well. Because, if this damn relationship that you're trying to start heads anywhere, you're going to see all the warts anyway, right?

Can you just pick that one dingleberry, honey?