Viva Movin' 93.9!

When I was living in Los Angeles, I stumbled across the coolest, rockingest, ass-kickingest station that ever existed. It was called Movin' 93.9 - The Mix that Makes You Move. The morning show featured the infamous Rick Dees (also the genius behind the song "Disco Duck"), Patty "Long Legs" Lopez, and Mark Wong. They played '70s and '80s music that, basically, would make you shake your ass. If you didn't feel like dancing while listening to this station, if your mood wasn't lifted, then you were probably dead. Or your taste in music really sucks.

During the day they even had mix shows. A real DJ (usually DJ Rawn) would mix up all this stuff... cut, scratch, and make it even funkier (somehow). Same deal for 5 o'clock on the drive home. This station was just plain awesome.

Then I left Los Angeles and used to stream it online... until one day I discovered they were changing formats. Movin' 93.9 would be no more. Los Angeles would be losing something really awesome and it wouldn't be there once I returned... what the F?

I decided to take action. No, I know writing the station owners can't/won't bring it back. Especially for a guy who doesn't even live in L.A., so I employed awesome technology. Enter Pandora.

It's still being worked on a bit, but it's pretty satisfactory... And I wanted to share it with everyone. Maybe this post will even come up if anyone searches for Movin' 93.9 on Google. My Pandora station is kind of a replacement for funky, funky music so I can get my fix... and now you can listen to it too. Most of these tunes will get you working in that gym on your cardio machine of choice as well. So, without further ado, I present to you...


Viva Movin 93.9!

Are you ready? Abs-olutely.

Abs. I got to get to work on these abs more than anything else. While the rest of my body seems to be gaining some definition, that ab area is just looking like crap... gross. It's still basically just a belly.

Of course, a big part of that is because I still need to focus on dropping a good chunk of pure lard. But, Even with a few extra pounds when you start to build up those muscles, it just looks good. I check out my arms, shoulders, and pecs and see muscles that weren't there before. That might be because I actually do exercises to make 'em look (and work) better.

Now the time has come to step the game up and start hitting those abs with exercises. I don't know why I've been avoiding it... but looking at my shirtless self in the mirror today brought this to my attention. My inner voice said, "Hey, you hit all these other muscles and look how good (much better) they're looking. Maybe if you actually did ab exercises, you might see some of the same benefits. Idiot."

So, word. That's what needs to happen and it will. Soon enough... Maybe even tonight after I bust up that elliptical.

Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

I've made up my mind. I ain't wastin' no more time. 'Cause here I go again...

There's one really bad thing about being an introvert. There's even worse things about being an introvert with a zillion and one extrovert qualities. The bad thing about being an introvert? You think a lot. Usually about yourself, your relationships with other people, and how all this affects every thing else in your life.

The bad thing about being an introvert with a zillion and one extrovert quslities? You often want to share these thoughts with others but aren't really sure how to do that. You're also not sure if your thoughts are entirely sane, or even really make sense, or whether anyone else cares.

As you may be able to guess, I've done a bit of this thinking lately. A lot of this thinking has centered on my relationship with the female species but other parts of it have focused on my relationships in general with both sexes. I have recently come to the conclusion that I may be destined to just be alone. On several levels it seems to suit me better.

While at the gym the other day, working out by myself, I was really enjoying it. I had been going with a partner for a while, but he has been abesent lately. This has always been an issue for him though. But, I came to realize I enjoy working out better by myself anyway and the only times I really wish for a partner is when I need a spot in the weightroom. At the gym by myself I can be less self conscious, I don't have to worry about what the other person is thinking about how stupid I (may or may not) look while singing along and dancing. I also don't have to feel bad for completing my usual 60 minutes if they stop earlier or feel like I let them down if I get too tired.

The same thing applies when I'm at home I've noticed. I seem to enjoy being alone much more than I do having other people there. Unless it's Max. I don't have to make stupid little small talk, I don't have to chit-chat about the weather, I don't have to answer what I'm doing or where I'm going... I don't have to say, "Hi" or "Bye" to anyone. I answer to nobody, nobody expects anything, and I don't expect anything either.

Yet, I often want companionship beyond Max. I don't want to be surrounded by a million people all the time, but I wish I had what I would like to call my "girlfriend of convenience." She would be around when I needed to talk to someone about things on my mind, she would be around when I wanted to make a delicious meal and needed someone to help eat it all up, she'd be around for me to embarrass when we went out in public and be silly/goofy with, she'd also allow me to be a big part of her life and feel like I'm helping someone else by letting me listen and help with her issues/problems in life. But, when I wanted to escape like Superman into my fortress of solitude, she could magically disappear. Oh, and she'd be impossibly fun to look at - probably so much so I wouldn't want her to ever go away. The yin to my yang, but only when needed.

Ah, a girlfriend of convenience. How ideal.

How pathetic. How lame. How... unrealistic.

Believe it or not... I'm walkin' on air.

There I was sweating my ass off. There she was - not sweating at all. What I'm sweating off, she better keep around... because it's looking damn good to the guy on the elliptical behind her. The way a lot of these girls are lookin' at the gym, I should start bringing my phone in with me so I can start some weird, creepy website... hotgirlsatthegym.com or something. Heck, maybe it already exists.

I finished my 60 minutes on the elliptical, hopped off the machine, and observed the puddle that collected itself right underneath where I was standing. I looked down at my shirt... soaked through. As usual. This is probably not the best time to approach a stranger of any sort especially one of the opposite sex who happens to be particularly attractive. I'm sure I was producing about a million and one pheromones though - so maybe that would work in my favor. Heck, it practically has to, right? That's what they exist for!

I talked myself out of it. Quite simply actually. For once not because of a fear of rejection, but because I know how much it pisses me off when people come try to talk to me while I'm working out. I really, really hate that. If I'm working out like crazy and you see me and know me, I don't care how close we are, don't come talk to me. I'm in the zone. I'm accomplishing stuff. I'm seriously in my own little world where normal people play air drums, dance, sing, and rap on elliptical machines while reading Ladies' Home Journal, Cosmopolitan, Parents, Midwest Living, or Shape. I'll be damned if it didn't look like she was reading the latest issue of Cosmo... and it's a good one. I know because I had read it the time before last. So I declined to interrupt her workout. Maybe next time if we both exit our machines at the same time... and if that happens, it was meant to be. We'll call it fate.

My weekend in Canada was full of pitfalls. In Stratford, Ontario there are no less than two chocolate shoppes... which make sinfully delicious candies. They also have a pleasing array of ethnic restaurants as well as no shortage of typical fast-food to hold you over should you get hungry in the middle of the night as I did. Having said that... I ate entirely too much of some really bad things.

Then this past weekend was my birthday weekend. What better excuse to overindulge? Why not just have Red Robin send me a coupon for a free hamburger? Oh wait... they did. And I used it. Did you know they also bring you out a FREE sundae on your birthday? Well, they do. It's all really good too.

Yet I maintained. The weigh-in this week was still at 198. Not an ounce (okay, maybe... but I don't know about it) over. The scale at the gym is my new buddy. We're tight like that.

Now this week is all about getting it to continue to move back down. We're coming for you again, goal weight. This time with tons of muscles in tow. Better believe that, suckers...

Time for a reality check...

Be pre-warned: This post won't be all about weightloss. It may not be all that cheery either. But, when am I ever anyway, right?

It's my birthday today. I'm 26 years old. I'm now WAY closer to 30 than I am 18. In all reality, I'm well over 25% done with my life. If my dad is any indicator, I'm approximately 33.3% done with this world as we know it. A 1/3 of my life... gone.

And what do I have to show for it?

Well, for starters I'm in the best shape of my life that I've ever been. Well, not EVER... but in better shape than I've spent a majority of my life. I was healthier for a bit, but I put some weight back and am working on getting it back off and building muscle at the same time. The weight is coming off as fast as I'd like (I need to do a bodyfat percentage thing though), but I can see the muscles growing so it makes me kinda happy.

There's one good thing I've got going for me. On the other hand, I'm single. Terribly single. I always used to tell myself that if I wasn't well involved (meaning well on my way to marriage) with some girl by the time I was 26 that I was either just gonna give up and remain single or instantly propose to a female friend who could tolerate ME for the rest of my life. Because, well, I'll probably die first and I admit I'd probably be the harder one to tolerate. Anyway, neither of those two things are happening in my mind right now. I've got one lady in particular who I can't get out of mind (although she remains oblivious) and I'm pretty sure all my female friends would straight up turn me down anyway.

My career is non-existent. Since moving back to Michigan I haven't been able to find any work that any idiot couldn't do. I send out resume after resume, go on the occasional interview (although that seems to have dried up now), and always walk away empty handed. I'm scared to death I'll be stuck working in a grocery store making $8 an hour for the rest of my life... living paycheck to paycheck. I'm trying to get out of this career rut, but it's like my wheels are just spinnin'. A guy can't catch a break. When the economy DOES pick up, then I'll have tons of competition from people who initially lost their jobs and have tons of experience and from other kids who just graduated college and think the future's all bright. F that. I'm screwed.

I don't even rent my own apartment. Like a true loser. I'm living with my brother and his fiancee. I don't even have my own place... and what little I can afford to give him for allowing me to stay there doesn't amount to a hill of beans. I'm grateful for having family that's willing to help me out so much, but I wish I could do more to help pull my own weight. I also just want to get out of his/their hair. How awkward and annoying it must be to both of them. Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me?

But, there are positive things in my life... such as my health. It's not where I want it to be, but I'm working and doing something positive to get it where I want it to be. I do it for me and nobody else either... so at least I can say that much. Upon further analysis though, it seems that often is the only positive thing I can see in my life and it's fragile. Fragile as hell. A couple days of bad eating and it can start to spiral out of control and go all down the drain. It makes me wonder sometimes if it's all worth it. Yeah, I can wear cooler clothes now, I like the way I look much better, I often feel a lot better... but it takes a LOT of work. No frontin' on that. Not to mention, that no matter how much I work out, I'll still not be totally satisfied with how I look until I find some way to get rid of all this damn extra skin... 'cause I look like shit with my shirt off. Even if I did have six pack abs (which I definitely don't... still too much of a belly), you'd never know it because of this damn stuff. My arms look like I straight jacked them from someone's grandma with all the flab hanging off 'em when I just lift them to the sides - no amount of huge biceps can detract from that. And, well, other not so pretty spots with extra skin.

It's my birthday and I'm in a pretty shitty mood. I guess that means I need to buck up and get my ass to (Mars) the gym. Release some endorphins, get sweaty, and go do something fun... as long as it isn't eating.

Oh, and here's a new picture for y'all. Not lookin' my skinniest, but workin' on it still... Muscles are kinda showing though - which makes me happy. This was taken last week sometime in the gym restroom...

Oh... yeah...

So I forgot to post the results of my weigh-in. But, I did it and it wasn't bad. At all. It actually dropped... to 198 lbs. Which is definitely less than my last weigh-in (but I'm too lazy to check right now).

Last night when I (compulsively) weighed myself though, I was at an even 200 lbs. We'll see what the scale says when I officially weigh-in this Saturday or Sunday.

Exercise has been there this week. Eating has been... mostly good. I've done a few things I've regretted, but no major binges or anything. We're getting back on track. No mouse in my pocket, so I'm not sure why I used the word "we". But... anyway...

Yeah. I need to write more interesting posts. I admit it. I need to quit saying I'm going to and start doing it. Like so many other things in my life...

Like Schwarzenegger, I'll be back.

This weekend was good - in a BAD way.

I went hog wild again. Again... no reason. I wasn't stressing out until I did it... but I'm still posting, I'm getting back in the gym, and I'll get it back on track. I've already made progress and I will continue to make progress as long as I can stay on point. I can't keep having bad weekends like that though or I'll just mess myself up even more.

But, I had a GREAT weekend. My mom and I traveled to Canada (Stratford, Ontario) to take in West Side Story and it was seriously awesome. Probably the best musical I've ever seen in my entire memory. I enjoyed it more than The Phantom of the Opera. Really.

The Canadian women are something else to see too. They have an abundance of extremely cute girls up there. All of them were healthy looking (read: not too skinny, not too fat), very cute, friendly as all get out, and some of them even seemed a little flirty with me. Score one for me!

So, now if I can get to the point where I think I look good enough (and confident enough) to start hitting on some of these women in my life who seem excessively flirty, maybe I'll start getting somewhere. But, I just caught a glimpse of myself sitting in the barber chair and it looks like it's a way off... seriously gross. But, I'm diggin' my new haircut... maybe I'll get a pic up here soon.

Oh, and for weigh-in. Well, I'm afraid I've gained after this weekend. I haven't had time to weigh myself yet though for this week. Depending on my shame, I'll post it though... but my weigh-in will happen... tonight, actually. I guess I better share it with y'all, it'll keep me on track and accountable. So watch for that later this week. Maybe tomorrow. In the meanwhile, that's what's up. I'm still here, I'm still messin' up, and I'm still trying damn hard not to (and figure out WHY I am).

Keep it real. I am.